After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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