Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
