Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize