Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
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he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
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Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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