Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
