You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize