She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
