you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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