4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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