i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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