Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
