He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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