you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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