Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
