dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
