He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
