Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
