There r osticjed everywhere
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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