That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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