My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
