Christians are straight up FREAKS
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
