i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize