Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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