she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
this will be a night to untag.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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