don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
