Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
