Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.