Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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