he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I have fence marks all over my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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