i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
