420 ftw
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize