You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
