I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
