Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
