he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
