Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
