i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
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girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
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OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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