I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Non-Jews are for practice
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
