i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Randomize
