there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
