Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
