she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Mom said you looked used
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
