He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
