i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
