So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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