so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i just sent this text using only my big toe
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
