i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
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