Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
