I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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