Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
