I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
