I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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