I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
