The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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