Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
