i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I fill condoms, not promises.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
