dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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