I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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