Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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