Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
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