I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
