yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
