I don't remember. Are we still dating?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
